Помогите!!!, только пожалуйста, перевод понятный, а не например: Лондон был большой сюрприз.Это было маленьким, и у меня не распознает ни один из улиц. Вот только не так;)

Пожалуйста, людии:) И я вам помогу, обещаю:*

Rob's story

In London

London was a big surprise. It was small, and I didn't recognize any of the streets. They weren't the same as the streets of the London of my time. We went through the market. I liked it. They had everything: poems, medicine, roses, fish, meat, oranges. There were people with sheep and pigs. I also saw a lot of beggars. Phillip lived with his aunt, countess Bagshow. We came to her house and Phillip introduced me. "This boy can cure any disease," he said. The countess was very happy, and I became her servant. I liked the house. The furniture was comfortable, and I could sleep in bed. The windows had glass in them. When I saw a toilet inside the house, I was very happy. There were no beds or toilets in Edinburgh. That evening there was a feast in the castle. The countess gave me a spoon and said, "You must come with your own spoon when somebody invites you to dinner." The people in the castle wore beautiful, expensive clothes, but the smell there was bad. I thought all the people needed a bath. But there was no bathroom and no toilet in the castle! At the feast I had to stand behind the countess's chair and serve her. All the plates and cups were made of silver , and the food looked tasty. But I didn't like people's manners. They ate with their hands and threw bones on the floor . Their hands were dirty and their teeth were black, because they ate a lot of sugar. The Queen didn't smile, because her teeth were black too" At night the countess didn't feel well. She had stomachache and I had to help her. But I made a big mistake. I said, "I am not surprised. You ate five chickens and two cakes at the feast. And you didn't wash your hands!" The countess was very angry and told me to leave her house. My friend Phillip felt sorry for me, but what could he do? I needed money, so I went to the market and started my own business. I predicted the future and gave people aspirin. Finally, the Queen invited me to her castle and I told her about the future of England. You know the end of the story. Now I am in the Tower, and everything is ready for my execution.