One day, a few years ago, a train was travelling through the English countryside. This was in the days when trains had small compartments. In one compartment there were four people : a young girl, quite pretty ; an old lady ; an army officer in his mid-thirties and a young cockney, ever ready to have joke. 

Suddenly the train went into a tunnel. The lights had not been put on, so for half a minute the carriage was in complete darkness. And suddenly came the sound of a large kiss followed almost immediately by a loud slap. When it was light again in the carriage, the officer was with a bleeding nose and swollen eye.

The old lady thought to herself that the young lady was very brave, because she had dared to hit the officer for stealing a kiss in such a cowardly way.

And the young girl thought, that the officer should kiss the old lady, not her.

The poor officer thought to himself, that cockney was quite a clever chap who had kissed the girl, and the girl had hit the officer.

And the cockney laughed to himself and thought that he was a clever chap. He had kissed the back of his hand, had hit the officer in the face and nobody had said a word.